Mytholmroyd.
Dear Sir,
Re... your article 'POLICE YOUR OWN GALAS SAY COPS' (Courier April 28th). It just made me wonder if perhaps Calderdale residents might soon be reading the following article in their local paper....
'POLICE YOUR OWN MATCHES SAY COPS' League Fixtures put at Risk.
Football matches throughout West Yorkshire were today put in jeopardy after police said they are no longer prepared to keep order at Saturday games. West Yorkshire Chief of Police Sir Rudy Hardcheese claimed the police had no legal obligation to send officers and are now asking football clubs to do their own risk assessments. He suggested that clubs appoint their own match stewards with fluorescent coats and baseball bats.
'This will reduce the burden on police and will allow them to go about their core functions, like setting up more speed traps and prosecuting aberrent motorists for anything we can think of.'
Police have reassured football supporters that with a bit of careful planning (and Kung Fu training) by club officials, games should still be able to proceed as normal, and there WILL be officers on hand to close down the motorways and rail and bus infrastructure in the even of it being necessary to contain naughty fans. They also informed us that they have been in consultation with the council's 'Parks and Streetscene' Department, who are not planning any further risk assessment at this time, and consequently will still have operatives available to clean up the mess and sand down the blood. Thank God every cloud has a silver lining!
JIM JARRATT
PS. Articles on 'Police your own demonstration' , 'DIY Riot control' and 'Antiterrorism for Beginners' to follow shortly.
