Which reminds me! I have managed to get my computer hooked up to this cybertimespacecontinuum broadband web server which uses temporal phase shift gluetooth technology to access newspaper articles due to be published in the next fifty years or so! While trawling through these pre archives I came upon the following article ... culled from the Calderdale Courier August 21st 2010.
LOCAL MAN CONTESTS ASSETS CONFISCATION
Lee Harvey Hussain, of 15, Pest Control Mews, St Johns Habitation Plexidome, Halifax, was today contesting the threatened confiscation of his 18 billion Euro 'Blotto' win on the grounds that the Digital Identity Card Screening Agency (DICSA) computer had confused his identity with that of one Leanne Harvey Hussein a female international terrorist, wanted by Interpol for stabbing babies, illegal use of a nuclear device and riding a moped under the influence of Coca Cola.
DICSA have refused to comment, but last night finally issued a statement flatly denying any identity confusion and stating that the confiscation order was in fact valid due to Mr. Hussain's one time conviction for inappropriately dropping a crisp packet into a bin officially designated for dog excrement.
Consequently the money will be divided up to benefit Mr. Hussain's victims. Fifty Euros will go to the Council to be divided up equally between the litter wardens, dog wardens and the street cleansing department. The rest will go to the Treasury for the Former Cabinet Ministers Retirement Hardship Fund. Mr. Hussain, after a few mentions of the Prevention of Terrorism (revised) Act of 2009, and his Muslim ancestry (he himself is a practising Quaker) thanked the court for their kindness in parting him from a fabulous sum of money, which, he freely acknowledged would only have been squandered on fizzy pop, strict churchgoing women and slow moving satellite tracked environmentally friendly sports cars. Once again it seems, morality and right thinking have triumphed over vice and iniquity!
You have been warned!
Jim Jarratt.
