Near to Clapham Towngate lived an old Yorkshire Tyke,
Who in dealing in Horseflesh had ne'er met his like,
Twas his pride that in all the hard bargains he'd hit,
He'd bit a great many, but never been bit!
Now this old Tommy Tavers, by that name he was known,
Had an old carrion bit that were sheer skin and bone,
To ha' killed him for t'curs would ha' been quite as well,
But 'twere Tommy's opinion he'd die o' himsel'!
Now one Abey Muggins, a Lancashire cheat,
Thought to diddle awd Tommy would be a great treat,
He'd a hoss too, 'twere worse than awd Tommy's y'see,
Fortneet afore that he'd thought proper to dee!
Thinks Abey 't'awd codger'll nivver smoke t' trick,
I'll swop him me poor dead horse for his quick,
An' if Tommy I nobbut can happen to trap,
It will be a fine feather in Aberram's cap!'
So to Tommy he goes, and to Tommy he pops,
'Twixt mt hoss an' thine, prithee Tommty, whot swops?'
'What wilt give me to boot, for mines t'better hoss still!'
'Nowt' sez Tommy, 'I'll swop even hands an' ye will!'
Well Abe went on a long time, 'bout something to boot,
Insisting that his was the liveliest brute,
But Tommy stuck fast where he had first begun,
Till Abey shook hands, and said 'Well Tommy, Done!'
'Ah Tommy!' says Abey, 'Ah's sorry fer thee,
Ah thought tha'd aq hadden more white in the 'ee.
Bad lucks in thi bargain, for me hoss it is dead!'
'Aye' says Tommy,'Me lad, so is mine and its FLAYED!
So Tommy got better o't'bargain a vast,
And came off wi' a Yorkshireman's triumph at last,
For though twixt dead hosses there's not much to choose,
Yet Tommy were richer by the hide an' four shoes!!!
SOURCE UNCERTAIN
I Picked up the words of this song many years ago at college. The tune was recently added .I am unsure of its origin
